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| Art by Tina Steele Penn of Charlotte, NC |
-Joy
I found myself at a Nar-Anon meeting because I had reached rock bottom. My life with my three precious children and my addict husband had become more than I could manage. I felt very alone. I was a complete mess at my first meeting and could hardly tell my story through tears. If I had thought then that this was my definitive Nar-Anon experience, I would have never come back. But what the literature and the people in the meeting were saying were things that I had experienced, too. They were speaking with straight faces and even seemed to be enjoying a camaraderie among themselves. Of course, I also cried when I heard of their experiences and how they applied the teachings because it made real sense to me, even though it was hard to hear at first. I learned to step back from my addict and not allow him to drive me straight to crazy town. I learned to get my life back and my confidence back.
-Mac
When I came to Nar-Anon, I'd already had some experience with Al-Anon, its sister program for people who struggle with alcoholic loved ones. My mother had attended Al-anon to help her with my father's alcoholism. When I found out that my husband was addicted to crack-cocaine, I called Al-Anon, and the person on the phone told me about Nar-Anon. What Nar-Anon taught me is that I am not alone and anytime I need to talk with someone who truly understands where I'm coming from, I can pick up the phone or go to a meeting. I've also learned a lot about myself through this program and its fellowship, and I have discovered that I am a beautiful person who deserves to be happy no matter what anyone else thinks, particularly those who do not understand where I'm coming from. I am learning to feel joy in my day-to-day experiences no matter what the circumstances, and that is truly amazing. I can now recognize that I am not responsible for what others do, say, think or feel, nor are others responsible for what I do, say, think, or feel. This in itself has brought freedom and joy into my life. I am so grateful for Nar-Anon and all its fellow members because my journey of what it means to love myself and those around me began with Nar-Anon.
-Anna
"My son is a junkie". I spoke those words two years ago at my first Nar-Anon meeting. It made it so real, and it began my own journey in recovery. No one in my family, none of my friends, no one understood, but the people in these rooms did. They understood and did not judge. They listened and cared and hugged me and offered me tissues for my tears. They quickly became my second family, or my "family of choice" as a good friend calls all of us. I have learned so many valuable things in the last couple of years. I am powerless over my son's addiction. It is a disease, and it's his responsibility to manage it. I have re-established a relationship with my God, and I speak with him everyday. When I am taking good care of myself, my life is much healthier, even in the midst of a crisis. When fellow members share their experience, strength and hope, I can always learn something. I have found that I don't always hear what I want to hear, but I always hear what I need to hear. Without the rooms of Nar-Anon, I would be an emotional and physical mess. I am grateful and thank God everyday for these people and this program. I still struggle, and I relapse and make mistakes. I will always be a work in progress, and I will always be the mother of an addict.
-Tammy
When I walked into a Nar-Anon meeting for the first time seven years ago, I was looking for a way to fix my husband and deal with the anger, depression, anxiety and drama that goes along with living with a crack-cocaine addict. My husband isn’t fixed, but I’m happy to say that I’m a much better, saner person because of it. I never thought that I could be happy and sane no matter what he did, but I’ve found that I can. This was a problem that only others in Nar-Anon understood. No one told me to leave him. No one was shocked when I told the TRUTH about what was going on in our home. What I received and continue to receive in Nar-Anon are tools to help me cope with active addiction, tools to help me focus on myself and stop worrying about him all of the time and live for ME. I’ve learned so much about my own behaviors and wants and needs and feel this enormous amount of support and love from this group. I came to Nar-Anon because of him, I’m staying because I love me.
-R.J.
While attending a family program in a local rehab, I was told to attend Nar-Anon meetings. I ignored them for a few weeks, but about the 4th week, I figured I may as well find a meeting and see what it was all about. My husband of many years had just told me he was addicted to crack, and I did not even know what crack was. I knew of other drugs, but not this one. It was suggested at the family program that you attend 4-6 meetings before you give up. Often people would only go once and just not return. Being a rule follower, I told myself I would attend 6 meetings just to prove I could. I counted off the first 4 meetings, and then I was hooked. I realized that Nar-Anon was for me. I was comfortable with all of these strangers that understood my situation, unlike my family and friends, who did not have addicts in their lives. That was almost 11 years ago, and I will probably attend meetings forever. I have made some wonderful friends. Also, it is important to me that the newcomer finds someone in that room like I did when I first went to a meeting.
-E.S.
